Vol 8: Leading by making it through
Recently, we’ve been hosting community dinners at our home. We invite people over to enjoy some food and build connection with each other. It’s a time of peace and spiritual exploration. One of the things that came up last night is the idea that often, we have such high standards for ourselves, that we expend absurd amounts of mental energy on feeling like we aren’t doing things well enough.
One person mentioned something he keeps in mind: The idea that just making it through a situation is something to celebrate. That’s success.
Honestly, when you think about the last few years where we’ve all been going through this horrifying pandemic, that makes so much sense. These are situations where pushing ourselves too hard or stretching ourselves too far can have disastrous, even fatal consequences. Just getting through these moments is something all of us should feel good about.
As I reflected on this, I thought about how often I’ve held myself to an impossible standard. At work, I’ve had a tendency to feel like decisions I didn’t make and had no influence over are my fault. In my personal life, I’ve sometimes taken personal responsibility for things that fall into the category of hard things people have to deal with, like a frozen, burst pipe in the basement.
I’m so grateful for this wisdom our guest shared. Some of the leaders I admire most are great at walking this line. They are careful to protect their peace. They do their best to influence the things that they can, drawing strong boundaries with the rest. They demonstrate a healthy dose of self love and respect by not stretching themselves too thin.
Clearly, this is an area where I have a lot of growth to do, but this thought inspired me to have healthier expectations of myself and others.
What’s something you’ve gotten through recently? I hope you take a moment to celebrate it.
Real leaders: Meridel Walkington
Each month, I ask a leader in my own life to share who they are and what leadership means to them.
Meridel describes herself as a writer, content designer, mother, cancer survivor, and Shih Tzu fanatic.
Here's how Meridel thinks about leadership, in her own words:
"I learned how to lead as a choreographer. To choreograph a dance, first you have to have a vision about what we can create as a collective. And then you need to facilitate that vision by seeing the individual strengths of each person.You need to place each dancer in a way that plays to their strengths, while also serving the larger piece. You’re making decisions based on some foundation of experience, but you’re dynamic in adjusting to meet the needs of that moment and collaborator. In those long rehearsals, people also need to enjoy the process—and you do that with kindness, humility, and humor."
Thanks, Meridel.
As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to reply any time. I always loving hearing your thoughts.