We’re approaching 6 months of this newsletter project, and I’ve gotta say, I’m so grateful for all of you. Lots of people have written back, sharing their own stories and what resonates with them. Others have mentioned it when they see me in person, talking about the encouragement they’ve found. If you are one of those people, thank you. It means so much, and it shows me that this idea of leadership being more than a job title or a slot in the corporate hierarchy is worth exploring.
I’m taking a break from the usual format this month to share something I’ve been thinking about. Recently, I got to give a keynote on leadership at a conference called Button in Seattle. An example I gave in the talk was how at one point in my career, I had to work with a really tough person who was senior to me and often just ran right over my ideas. It felt like nothing I could say would get through to him.
I was at this job for two years. I tried a lot things, made a lot of progress, but still never felt like I really got through to this person. Then, six months after I left the job, he sent me a text message. In it, he said that he used to resent me, but that now he sees that what I was doing made sense, and that he champions the values I was advocating for every day.
I couldn’t believe it. The change I was looking for didn’t happen until after I left.
After my talk in Seattle, I got this question from the audience:
What advice do you have to help us get over our own impatience, and the short-term frustration we have to go through, while waiting for change?
This is such an important question. It’s a thing so many people are dealing with. Often, it feels impossible, causing us to shut down.
I answered with three things I do in my own life:
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Therapy
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Spiritual practices
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Being proud of how I’m showing up
I want to focus on that third one, because it’s something that can apply to everyone, and I’ve only recently realized how important it is.
Things outside our control can get pretty chaotic. In the story I told, I couldn’t actually change how this product manager was thinking. He had to do that on his own time. I just tried my best to be who I wanted to be, and kept advocating for what I felt was important.
To me, this has been the most transformative change in my own thinking. I used to feel defeated by big problems: From layoffs and reorgs to financial trouble and health issues. Now, when these things happen, I start by checking in with myself. I ask myself who I want to be in this moment.
You see, it’s enough just to be proud of who you are. You don’t have to fix those big issues. You are enough.
Maybe you will eventually achieve those goals and solve those problems. Or maybe they’ll solve themselves. The difference is that you won’t be tying your own worth to the result.
Thanks again for reading and for being here. How would you answer the question I was asked? How do you take care of yourself while waiting for change? I’m excited to hear from you.