Vol 6: Leading with compassion
Maybe the industry I work in is a weird one (well actually, I’m fairly certain it is) but we talk about empathy all the time. Empathy for each other and empathy for the people we’re designing for. It’s not a bad thing in itself, but it’s to the point where many people are more interested in being seen as empathetic than in actually doing anything different. It’s a bit of a trap.
That’s why I prefer to focus on compassion. To me, compassion is about action. A compassionate person sees what people around them need, then does something about it.
I learned a lot about compassion from Michaela—a past co-worker and good friend. Michaela coached me when I was in a challenging management role, bringing her knowledge and deeper experience to the things I was navigating. I found myself in high-pressure situations where it was important to show up well and gain the support of people higher in the company, and I was feeling all of that intensely. She had the compassion to see what I was going through and offered her help.
Michaela’s approach was always about putting people first. When I was feeling that pressure, she’d ask why. She’d encourage me to focus on the facts and the things I could control. But more importantly, she would acknowledge what I was feeling and show understanding.
Beyond that, whenever I’d express worry about the way someone was acting or what they might be thinking, she’d spend a little time thinking about them what they were going through. She’d help me see how the people I was feeling pressure from might also be experiencing pressure themselves. This helped me understand and appreciate the human side of these tough interactions.
That skill I learned from her has really helped me move past the political stiffness of many working relationships to a place where we’re all just focused on getting things done and see each other in a human way. It’s also a skill that has helped Michaela build strong relationships across big organizations, far beyond the immediate teams she works on. It’s a bit of a super power that’s core to how she shows up as a leader.
People have noticed, and it has brought her a lot of respect and admiration from her peers.
But don’t forget, compassion also extends to yourself. It’s so important to recognize what you need and act on that. Early in my personal journey practicing compassion, I would tend to put myself and my needs last. The thing is, doing that kept me from having the energy to show that compassion to others. Now I spend more time listening to what I need.
Recognizing when you need rest, support, or a break—then asking for it—is what will keep your compassion going.
Real leaders: Tiffany Daniels-Hudson
Each month, I ask a leader in my own life to share who they are and what leadership means to them.
Tiffany describes herself as a creative, historian, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
Here’s how Tiffany thinks about leadership, in her own words:
“I approach leadership by first building a relationship and establishing trust with others. To me, building a relationship and establishing trust helps the team or people I’m graced to lead feel valued and creates a safe environment with mutual respect. After that, I assess the goals that an organization or group may may have and evaluate the strengths and areas of growth that I can help develop. I work together with those I’m entrusted to lead to reach their goals and potential.”
Thanks, Tiffany.
New workshop on March 31st
I’m so excited to be turning some of the things I’m writing about here into a workshop this year. The first one is aimed at writers, but anyone who works on a team or wants to be more influential will gain a lot from it. We’ll cover:
- Practicing your own leadership: Finding a way to be a leader that reflects who you want to be and what you value
- Facilitation as a leadership skill: How a co-worker’s experience affects the customer’s experience
- Collaborative journey mapping: Helping a team identify gaps and opportunities
- Practicing pushback: Voicing your concerns while showing people you’re on their side
- Templates and worksheets: Leading your team through collaborative problem-solving
I’m offering $100 off through February 24th.
Get all the details and sign up
I’m thinking of doing another one of these for a general audience later in the year. Would you be interested in that? If so, I’d love to hear from you.
As always, thanks for reading.